Zero Requiem: Errata
by Mereo Flere
Summary: The world doesn't need this kind of Zero.


"Zero Requiem: Errata"

By Mereo Flere

AKA: How Lelouch screws Suzaku over, in more ways than one.

A/N: Written for TFF's Watashiwa's Iron Fic challenge. 4 hours to write a fic based on a theme – which was "The world doesn't have to make sense."

And this doesn't make sense. At all.

* * *

Being Zero was harder work than Suzaku thought. There were so many responsibilities that he hadn't expected to have – responsibilities that had easily exceeded even those when he was a Knight of Round.

Of course, there was a good reason for that. To begin with, it seemed that Lelouch had left out a lot of details until now. However, while Suzaku could normally attribute it to the two of them being busy in the months that they had been formulating their plan, leading up to the enactment of the Zero Requiem....

"Lelouch, you bastard."

...the book before him told him that Lelouch had planned it all along.

Zero Requiem: Errata.

A hand written manuscript, detailing changes to the plan. Just flipping through its pages was enough to drop Suzaku's heart into despair.

He...couldn't be serious, could he? No, this had to be a practical joke. Yes, it had to be – from CC! Last time, she had tried to convince him that there was a pizza budget just for her...

...and while it technically was there (for, Lelouch knew quite well how dangerous a pizza deprived CC was), it certainly hadn't been the plan for her to buy an entire franchise just to service her. Not that Suzaku had been able to stop her from doing just that anyway – but that only made him more wary around her.

"Before you think it's one of my practical jokes," a voice behind him said, "Look over here."

He turned around, spinning in his chair. There stood the Witch of Britannia, who had been looking over his shoulder. Though she had been integral to creating the plan, that didn't change the fact that she was, without a doubt, the most dangerous person of all.

Before he could object, though, she had flipped through the pages – making him lose his place (for, she was evil like that) – turning to a section near the end.

There, bearing the seal and signature of Lelouch, was a simple note: "You should have been prepared to do at least this much, right?"

It was, after an hour of careful inspection, that he was forced to face the fact that it was...genuine. Lelouch really was a bastard.

"C.C.," Suzaku said, looking up from the book. "I...I don't think the world needs a hero like this."

She simply smirked, shrugging. "Of course not. But, you're not supposed to be a hero to begin with. After all - "

"I'm Zero."

"Yes. You're Zero. This is the Requiem – and that, right there, is the errata."

Suzaku stared at C.C. for a moment. Then he reached for his mask, put it on, and turned away from CC. There was no way he was going to let her have the pleasure of seeing him cry.

"I can still hear you," she said, after he started weakly sobbing.

...damn it.

* * *

Kallen Stadtfeldt wasn't sure what to think when Suzaku, no, "Zero" paid her a visit. To begin with, she wasn't sure why her mother had let him into their home in the first place. What kind of person would trust the word of a man who never even took his mask off?

...only herself and the rest of the world.

Yeah.

Eventually, though, she found the words after he explained the reason he was here.

"You're an idiot."

It felt good to say that to his face. Even if she technically couldn't see his face.

"It isn't my idea!"

"Then 'he's' an idiot too!"

He, of course, referred to the late emperor – Lelouch vi Britannia. Neither dared to say it out loud, though; that name had become a forbidden word, used only as a curse in the new era he had ushered in. But, both Suzaku and Kallen understood who exactly had set this up.

And, for the most part, they agreed. But, Suzaku had to try – for the sake of the plan.

"But you're Zero's – I mean my personal bodyguard."

"And what makes you think that should make the two of us l-lo-lov..."

"Lovers?" Suzaku said, finishing it for her.

Kallen blushed, but nodded. "Y-yeah."

"I don't," he answered honestly. "But..."

"But?"

He coughed. "The rest of the world thinks it does."

"...and what makes them think that means anything?"

"When doesn't it?" Suzaku asked. "Just look at Britannia – There's Cornelia and Guilford, for example."

Kallen sighed. So what if there were two people in the entire government that had decided to shack up, and just happened to be a bodyguard and the bodyguarded?

Then again...

"So, is that why you and...no, the Betrayer Knight, and the Massacre Princess..."

"No," Suzaku said, weakly. "If...if anything, it had happened the other way around."

"But it still happened..."

Suzaku smiled bitterly. "Yes. But, that's all the more reason why I need you."

Kallen flushed – what was she thinking, trying to help his argument? "Still, they were sisters. What about Schneizel, surely he - "

"Yes," Suzaku interrupted. "He did too. Actually, it's been a tradition for royalty to marry one of their knights.

"Even one of the Emperor's wives was his bodyguard."

"I wasn't his wife!"

Suzaku raised a brow, not that she could see it. "I wasn't talking about you."

"...you don't mean y-you...and him..."

"Kallen," Suzaku said sternly. "Please don't get any strange ideas in your head."

"But, isn't this entire thing a strange idea in the first place?!"

"I...no," he replied, shaking his head slowly. "I was talking about Charles. The Emperor before the last one."

"Ah...you should have been more specific," Kallen said, turning even redder than she already was. Soon, Suzaku noted, her face would match her hair.

"Just what were you imagining, anyway?" Suzaku asked, crossing his arms.

"Nothing!" Kallen coughed. "Besides, though. None of that matters – we're Japanese!"

That was right. Just because that was the way the Britannians did things, it didn't mean that they had to too!

"There's Toudou and Asahina," Suzaku countered, without missing a beat. "We were actually at their wedding last week, don't you remember?"

"They don't count!" Again, they were clearly the exception.

Even if they weren't.

"There was...the former Japanese Prime Minister," Suzaku said, hesitantly.

Kallen blinked. "Eh?"

"Remember, the Betrayer Knight had to inherent his ability from somewhere – and it certainly wasn't from his father."

A minute passed, as Kallen contemplated this information.

"...Zero."

"Yes, Kallen?"

"This world sucks."

Zero sighed. "I know."

* * *

There was an awkward pause. Neither knew what to say.

Not that they didn't still try.

"Kallen - " "Zero - "

"..." "..."

"Go ahead." "Go ahead."

"I -" "You -"

Needless to say, they got nowhere.

Finally Suzaku placed a finger on Kallen's lips. "Look – I...don't want this to be the way things are. It's unreasonable, for both of us. But, it's just..."

"Just what?" Kallen asked, brushing Suzaku's hand away.

"If there's anyone I'd like by my side, I would want it to be you."

A single beat. For some reason, Kallen couldn't help but feel that she could see his eyes, filled with sincere conviction, at that moment.

And, at that moment, she understood why he had come to her first.

"You're afraid of Kaguya, aren't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"She and C.C. are friends," she said, as if that explained everything. And, in a way, it did.

"You know, she caught the bouquet last week. It seems like she's decided to officially become Zero's wife."

"She...she knows its you, right?"

Suzaku nodded. "...yes."

Kallen memory flashed, back to a party more than a year ago. Back then, when they were still enemies, Kaguya had announced her intent to make the then Knight of Seven her play toy.

"She really intends on making you her play toy, doesn't she?"

"Why do you think I never went to the Sumeragi's for help after the war?"

"Ah..." Kallen nodded – even she would be wary about any help from Kaguya. The girl was too mischievous to be handled without care – and unlike C.C. she couldn't be distracted with pizza. "You know, I can't possibly protect you from her."

"Honestly, Kallen. I don't think anybody can."

* * *

The plan, itself, was a simple concept.

Uniting the leadership of the world underneath a harem. That was the only reason that the leaders of the three greatest nations had been three young girls after all.

While it was true that the plan required Kallen to be there they agreed – for the sake of both of their sanities – that it would only be a farce. They didn't actually have to do anything together – much to the disappointment of Kaguya.

"At the very least, you should do it properly~" she complained. "I've already given you permission, Kallen – and it's not like this Zero doesn't have the sta-"

"Kaguya!" Zero's knight yelled at Kaguya, trying to clamp her hand over the younger girl's mouth. It still didn't shut her up.

It wouldn't have been so bad – if they hadn't been currently on the bridge of the _Ikaruga_. With the bridge bunnies giggling, and throwing glances their way.

"But how else are we going to initiate Operation: Unlimited Harem Works?" Kaguya asked, in a voice that sounded far more innocent than the person it belonged too.

Kallen's hand flew to her face. Palm sliding over her eyes, she sighed. "Need I ask?"

"Well, it's unlimited because there will be a lot of girls. It's a harem because it'll be a lot of girls. And it'll be a lot of work because there will be a lot of-"

"Let me guess – Girls?" Kallen asked, an unamused on her face.

Kaguya shook her head – as if Kallen was crazy for even suggesting it. "No, it'll be a lot of work because there will be a lot of sex. Isn't that obvious?"

Kallen face palmed again. "Ne, Zero," she said, nudging the man beside her. "Aren't you going to say something?"

"It'll only get worse if I intervene," he answered.

Kallen sighed. Why had she agreed to this again? That particular scene had been left out, for some reason. "In any case, where are we going?"

"To China," Nunnally said – who appeared to be nonchalant about the whole situation. "After all, how can you expect to unite the world underneath a harem without a representative from China?"

"You can't be seriously going along with this – are you Nunnally?" Kallen asked incredulously. "This is crazy, insane, and-"

"I don't have any complaints, Kallen," she said happily. "After all, it's what Zero wants, isn't it?"

Suzaku coughed. "Technically, Nunnally, you weren't included in the plan." If anything, Lelouch had told him, in words that took up nearly a page by themselves, to "Stay the fuck away from my [Lelouch's] sister."

"I _said, _this is what Zero wants, isn't it?"

Suzaku's blood seemed to freeze, as Nunnally smiled at him. It was at times like this he regretted that she was able to glare at him – something he wasn't used to at all.

It...it was rather frightening.

"Y-yes. Of course. I want this, I really do."

"Pathetic," Kallen said, rolling her eyes. Still, she felt a little sorry for the guy – it seemed Kaguya had rubbed off on Nunnally.

"So – who did you have in mind?" Suzaku asked, genuinely curious.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kaguya asked, spinning around before facing Suzaku. "There's only one possible candidate. Tianzi!"

"Eh?"

"I already went ahead and told Xingke that we were coming to pick her up."

"Eh?!"

* * *

"Die Zero!"

The sword flew at Suzaku – aiming for the spot right between his eyes. For a moment, he considered letting hit, but unfortunately the geass activated and forced him to dodge it at the last second.

Xingke, who had heard that Zero would be trying to create a harem, hadn't had any problems with that at all. After all, it was a sound plan – as a person who could be compared to Lelouch in tactical ability, he could see where the other man was coming from.

But, there were certain things that were unforgivable.

"J-just listen to me!" Suzaku said, as he avoided the blade yet again. "Kallen, can't you help me out?!"

The bodyguard simply shrugged, sitting at her spot on the deck of the _Ikaruga_. "Sorry – I can't interfere. I already placed a bet on the fight."

Suzaku spared a moment to look at her as if she were crazy. But she wasn't – after all, she'd been given very good odds. "You bet on this fight?! You're supposed to be my bodyguard!"

"Don't worry, I bet on you! Just don't lose!" At that time, Kallen pumped her fist in the air, halfheartedly.

It was at that moment, Suzaku decided, that Kallen really knew how to held a grudge.

"Is this because I left the toilet seat up? I already told you I'm sorry!"

"Don't you have anything more important to worry about?" Kaguya asked with a smile, pointing at the rather angry man, charging at Suzaku.

"It's your fault in the first place!" he answered, tumbling to the side – avoiding what would have otherwise been a deadly slash to his chest.

"Now, now. I was only kidding," she said, smiling.

"Then tell him that!" Suzaku yelled, pointing at Xingke – who had yet to seem to tire. "And you, aren't you supposed to have a terminal illness?!"

"So long as fiends like you threaten Tianzi, my body cannot be put to rest!"

And, with that, Xingke charged again. This time, though, he stumbled halfway, clutching his chest. Suddenly, he coughed up blood, but...

...even with that, Suzaku realized that he would be killed, illness or no illness, if he didn't do something. And so, at that time, nobody could blame him for what he did.

Without any warning, he leaped forward. Spinning through the air, he knocked Xingke to the ground, before stepping on top of him – preventing the other man from standing up.

"Now will you listen?" Suzaku asked. "I didn't come here for Tianzi."

Xingke stared at him with skeptical eyes. "Then what are you here for?" he asked.

Well, that was the question, wasn't it?

"To...unite the world's leadership with a harem."

"Die Zero!"

The battle cry, of course, would have been more impressive had Xingke actually been able to stand up. As it was, though, he struggled futilely.

"Are you done?"

"...yes."

"Now, as my...'waifu'," Suzaku said, embarrassed to use the term – but Kaguya insisted that he refer to her as such in public. "As my 'waifu' suggested, Tianzi was under consideration. But, given her youth and status, we can agree that she is unsuitable for this role."

"And the others are?" Xingke asked, eyeing the other girls.

"No, but I won't sink as low as that," Suzaku said, crossing his arms as if the matter was settled.

"What? No fair~"

"Quiet Kaguya," Kallen said, dragging the girl away. It was better this way – seriously.

"Well? Then you intend to leave empty handed then?" Xingke asked, suspicious of the Zero's intentions.

"Of course not," Nunnally said, approaching in her wheelchair. "We will still need a representative – in order for this plan to work."

Suzaku glanced at Nunnally – surprised to see how much she was getting into this. Still, he turned his attention back down to the man underneath his foot.

"So – do you have anybody in mind?" Xingke asked, still looking at Nunnally.

"Of course. You have an assistant, don't you?"

"Done."

"...that was easier than I thought it would be," Suzaku said, frowning. "All you care about is Tianzi, huh?"

"Are you really going to judge me, Mr. 'I'm going to make an International Harem'? Besides," he added. "You'll have to convince her yourself."

"Don't worry," Nunnally said, a fox's smile on her face. "We will."

* * *

In less than an hour, they were homeward bound back to Japan. Now joining them on the bridge was none other than Zhou Xianglin – Xingke's effective second in command. Suzaku immediately remembered who she was – the woman who had become the Deputy Chief of the Black Knights.

Certainly, she was a marvelous choice; she already had ties to Zero, after all. With her, his 'international harem' as Xingke put it should have been complete. But...the way she kept glancing at him, and blushing – no, the fact that she had agreed to this at all was a mystery to him.

"You..." he said, turning to the two scheming girls, Nunnally and Kaguya. "Just what did you tell her?"

"Oh," Kaguya answered, while Nunnally giggled. "Just how marvelous you were at sex."

"..."

"We've already contacted the rest of your harem as well," Nunnally said, grinning. "Both of them."

"Both of them?"

Suzaku paused. He...wasn't aware he even had a harem himself.

"Here's a list of the candidates we've chosen," yet another familiar voice said. Turning around, Suzaku's eyes widened in shock as he found Sayoko standing there, holding a folder out to him.

How had she snuck up behind him anyway? Oh right – she was a ninja.

Hesitantly, he took it. Opening it up, he flipped through the files contained within...and grimaced.

Millay, Cecile, Anya – and didn't Nina hate him? And, more there were only more names written within – some he was familiar with, and others no doubt people that Lelouch had associated himself with.

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"Of course not," Sayoko said, smiling. "I'm fully confident in your - "

"Please," Suzaku said, wishing he could take off his mask to rub his temples. "Please, whatever you do, don't finish that sentence."

"S-say," Kallen said approaching the group, who had been talking with Zhou Xianglin. "How much of that is true?"

Suzaku sighed, looking up at the ceiling. He really, really hoped she wasn't referring to what he thought he was.

Was...was this really want Lelouch wanted?

* * *

The short answer was, naturally, "Yes!" Alternatively, Lelouch would have said, "Sucker!"

Given the opportunity, though, he chose to say both – listening to the report that C.C. had given him. "So, it appears Zero Requiem succeeded."

The person behind him simply smiled. Lying back on the pile of hay, as the cart continued on the dirt road. "Did you really have to go through all this trouble? Everybody thought you were dead."

"I wasn't about to take any chances," he said. "Besides, this takes care of two birds with one stone."

"Saving the world, and helping your friend?"

"...no, not exactly," Lelouch admitted. There was no point in hiding it after all. "Getting rid of my harem, and punishing Suzaku."

"Giving him a harem is a punishment? That...doesn't make sense."

Lelouch smiled. "That's okay – the world doesn't have to make sense.

"Besides," he continued, tipping his hat. "Have you seen how crazy my harem was sometimes?"

"Present company excluded, right?"

"..."

"Right? Lelouch, are you going to answer?"

"I'm...thinking."

-The End-


End file.
